Wilson Young's Excellent Adventure

I've thought about how exactly to approach this blog for some time. I have finally settled on a theme. Let's pay tribute to Wilson's recent residency match (Mount Sinai / IM + Cardiology) by going back in time, to when it all began.

The journey starts with Wilson, a recent graduate of Scarsdale High School, as an incoming freshman at Columbia University. Fresh off a succesful high school career where he excelled at things such as Math and piano play (rare for a child of Taiwanese heritage), Wilson knew that his mission in life was to one day become a physician. Nothing, not even the cruel and slow hands of time, would get in his way.

The year was 1991.

In world affairs, George Bush Sr. was the President of the nation. The first American War in Iraq had just concluded. South African Apartheid had just ended in June. The Soviet Union still existed (it would be another few months before the states of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia became the first to break away from the USSR). And Gorbachev was still in power (with Boris Yeltsin about to take over).

(Gorbachev!!! Hahahahahahaha...)

In entertainment, Dances With Wolves won the Oscar for Best Film of the year. Mariah Carey won the Grammy for Best New Artist. And an angry new band from Seattle named Nirvana had the most popular album in America (Smells Like Teen Spirit) ushering in the era of grunge music. The most popular revival song of the year was Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, made famous once again on MTV by the soon to be released Wayne's World.

(Dances With Wolves? Nirvana? Wayne's World?!?!? Damn Wilson, you are ridiculously old.)

In sports, The New York Giants were the reigning Super Bowl champions. The Atlanta Braves won their first of 14 consecutive division titles (they were in the NL West back then) - a run that was just ended in September 2006 by the New York Mets. Michael Jordan won his first NBA Championship with the Bulls. And a 19 year old named Pete Sampras won his first Grand Slam at the U.S. Open beating Ivan Lendl, John McEnroe and Andre Agassi to take the title.

(You are older than life itself.)

The average price of gas was $1.15 per gallon.

(This is beginning to depress me.)

And I was just beginning the 8th grade at George J. Ryan Junior High School 216 in Fresh Meadows, New York. My favorite class was Science with Mr. Ryan who used the hour after lunch to show us Hollywood blockbuster movies every day.

Where were you when Wilson began his journey? Where were you when he finally ended it this past Thursday? Where will you be when Wilson actually is a licensed and practicing physician? Will you even be alive?!?!?!

(Ritesh asked me to put up the last of those questions, specifically with Koster in mind.)

And most importantly, will Kiran Shanti Koster complete the 3rd grade before Wilson Young completes his fellowship? Hell, will Kiran complete her residency and fellowship, before Wilson completes his??

(Yes. And probably yes.)

Congratulations Wilson. You may be really really old. And it may have taken you 15 and 1/2 years (186 months; 5,580 days; 133,920 hours) to reach this goal. But hey, this blog's for you!

Luchy. Loving Wife? Or Praying Mantis?

It's amazing the things you come across just sitting on this couch. In our most recent mental adventure we examined the natural mating behavior of the Homo sapien. Some members of the group argued that the concept of one mate for each human as manifested by the institute of marriage is the natural behavior of man. One person here in particular argued that there was no way for the male human to survive in time without the companionship of a spolingular female mate.





Others in the group, however, made an argument to the contrary. Their fundamental stance was that the human male is made in a way that neither rewards nor even encourages monogomy. Rather the human male offers self evidence, in his ability to succesfully pollenize the human female for eight decades, that his sole purpose in this world is to continually replace his temporary female with a younger, more fertile one each year. It is the opinion of this blogger that this argument is quite sound. I would also add that the proper way to conquer the annual female is likely to swat her swiftly across her head with a club, as was done in the days of our ancestors.



In response to this rather aggressive form of taming the human female, one of our debate participants, Luchy offered a counteracting measure. She openly and quite jovially embraced and endorsed the possibility of a human female biting the head off a human male during intercourse, much like the behavior of the cannabilistic female Praying Mantis. And then she laughed, quite a lot.

It is unclear which side will prevail in this debate likely to challenge the sexes for ages to come. But it is clear that the days of clubbing one's mate are over. And it is also likely that we shall never see the practice of ritual head-biting (the head on the neck) become commonplace in our bedrooms. Whether that is what nature intended remains to be seen.

The Luchy-Ritesh War of 2007

These are excerpts from the recent Luchy vs. Ritesh email war of 2007. I think you will all enjoy the content here.

From Luchy

ritesh, you fucking suck. i hate you so much i cry. the only thing more miserable than my job is the thought of you. thanks for showing me your car, asshole. i hope you get a belly ache after the munchies...@#$%$%^^&&**!@@#$$%^^&&**((!!@@##

Ritesh responds with

Wow, you must have really been fucked up when you wrote this. Listen, there was no time to show you the car. You always had something going on. How about I send you a picture instead, or maybe I'll doodle a caricature and mail it to you. Let me know which you would like.

Luchy's counterpoint

ritesh, i'll tell you where to stick that fucking caricature. you picked the wrong week to mess with me, you prick! you better watch out, next time i see you, i'll fucking run you over with your own car. you are such a flaming fagel that it's a wonder why you don't sponateously combust!! by the way, i'm totally 100% sober...

Ritesh again responds with

Simmer down little lady. I think you need to try the decaf from now on, and lay off the amphetamines too! If you're still angry I suggest you take it out on Salman. I'm sure he'll be agreeable. I think giving him a swift kick in the nuts will help you feel a whole heck of a lot better.

And finally Luchy concludes the exchange with

haha! tesh, i can't drink decaf- you know that i make that cuban cafe that packs a real punch...if i had any uppers, i would have taken them all by now. don't you worry about salman...he's had his share of aggression this week. trust me, just ask him. however, your idea has some merit. kicking him in the balls would really take the edge off. next time i see him, i think i'll try it...

Once again I am left saying "What the fuck?" Screw both of you. I hope this war takes both of you to a mutually gruesome conclusion.

The Great Twizzler Debate

While I was sitting here ignoring CSI Miami (and that really unneccesarily intense Detective guy) something happened that brought 2 of life's important questions to light.

How many twizzlers is too many twizzlers? Is it 10?

Is the age old claim that artificial coloring causes cancer truth, or mere urban legend?

I guess that's more like 2.5 questions. Anyhow, I was minding my own business when Luchy tossed a package of twizzlers my way. I. rather hungry at the time, reached over to grab the goods. And I suddenly remembered a recent conversation in which she confessed to me rather innocently that she, in fact, ate one entire twizzlers package (10 twizzlers) a day.

At the time that sure seemed like a few too many. But when I questioned her regarding what I felt to be an excessive daily intake of twizzlers. she reacted with a shock about her face. In fact no, those are not too many twizzlers a day; not too many at all. Apparently that was just the right amount.

My natural dissent didn't allow me to leave it alone. I pushed the issue, and ultimately sought the unbiased opinion of Jesse. He concurred with my conclusion, and Luchy's feeble argument was boxed into a corner. As she swung blindly in the wind with her rebuttals Jesse decided to turn up the heat on the offensive.

"Those stupid things have all that food coloring. Too much of that causes cancer." Wow. He really took it to the next level with the whole cancer debate. Now Luchy turned to me for some help. Oddly, though I knew of no firmly established relationship between the two, I chose to be neutral - thus furthering the great twizzler debate. And now I bring it to you.

Do they make mouth happy? How many are too many? Do they cause cancer?

These are the questions that will continue to baffle leisure seekers for generations to come.

Who's That Girl?

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. So I'll let the art do the talking for me on this one. Though, I'm not exactly sure what message this photo is sending - other than "Laugh, and laugh real hard." I really think all should leave their comments on this one. Don't hold back.

Support Local 2N - Knights of Couchumbus

I have thus far reserved this blogspot for those topics and issues that exist within the confines of levity and carefree gab. But with the changing times I feel it is my duty as a self-proclaimed voice for the underexercised to dedicate this particular post to a greater cause; that cause being the old American faith in the worker.

It has come to my attention that a member of the Lou and Luchy's Couch family (Lou) has been unwittingly caught in a labor struggle at his place of employment. Despite his inistence that he only seeks to do his job and intends to cause no trouble, it appears trouble has found him. And that too, within the seemingly innocuous work environment of NSUH.

After extensive meetings and negotiations with members of administration at NSUH, it appears that Lou and his fellow Knights of Couchumbus will not have their demands for fair labor practice and work conditions honored. And in fact, they stand risk to lose some of the luxuries to which they have grown accustomed.

So, in response to this unwarranted tyranny by the Administration of NSUH, Lou intends to protest and pitcket in a strike the likes of which have not been seen since outrages in the meat packing labor force after Upton Sinclair's publication of "The Jungle." I for one will support his cause.

In addition to supporting his cause, I will take my blog worldwide in an effort to make Lou Chairman of the hospital so that he may aid in the legalization of certain alternative medical therapies. I can only hope we all join Lou in this cause and fight for worker's/stoners' rights worldwide.

Happy New Year! Thank you Ritesh!

Just wanted to use this chance to wish all of you guys a Happy New Year!

2006 was a big year for alot of us, and now there's an extra member of the lot (see blog below). Some moved away. Some stayed home. Some made their own. Here's to you guys, your families, and to a healthy, happy, fun-filled 2007!

I would also like to take this opportunity to publicly thank Ritesh for using his exorbitant income to pay for my entire trip to Amsterdam! Let's hear it for Ritesh guys. How many of us would dip into the grotesque excess of luxury we live in and pay for our friends to galavant the globe? Well Ritesh would and has. He is a true philanthropist, and a true friend.

PS - The picture above, in my humble opinion, captures and unifies the essence of both themes in this blog.

Self Explanatory

Ode To Amsterdam

Once upon an evening dreary, while I walked the street and drank my beery
Over Heineken, conversation and and snacks galore
While to the sex show I was clapping, from the bedroom there came a tapping
As of something large loudly flapping, flapping at my soul's door,
'Tis something fierce', I muttered, flapping at my soul's door,
Only this and nothing more

Ah distinctly I remember it was in that cool December,
And each seperate blogspot member wrought their presence upon the floor,
Eagerly I wished the morrow, - vainly I had sought to borrow
From their herbal remedies of sorrow - sorrow stolen from laughs galore,
For that bright and evergreen laden, plant that Sherpas grow galore -
Nameless here for evermore

And that lively dancer's hustling of each red curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic sensation rarely felt before
So that now, to still the aching in my loins, I stood there quaking
Reciting 'There lies a dancer beyond that door,
Some late visitors she tries to entice through her red door -
This she seeks, and nothing more

Presently my resolve grew stronger, hesitating for a moment longer,
'Ma'am said I, or Madam, your advances I must ignore
But the fact is I was trapping, through my smokey haze you started tapping,
Ever so subtly tapping, tapping at my tambourine door,
That I scarce could barely hear you' - here I walked away from that floor
And left in sheer darkness the red Dutch whore

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no blazer ever dared to dream before
But the silence was then broken, and through the darkness I heard spoken,
The only words of remedy for my maladies of yore 'Magic Mushroom special token'
He whispered, and an echo murmured back the words, 'And happy trees we have galore'
Twas heaven on Earth and true bliss I found, forever more

And there I sat, in smoke filled joy, my heart beating like that tapping toy,
Which wrenched me from the darkness I traversed through just before,
That special night from whenst I came, on that street which bears no name,
Seeking, lurking, blindly following that sensation that brought the travellers four
Who came to this city, with rampant thoughts both wild and witty, of blissful herbal glam,
And where we landed, though at times feeling stranded was in truth Utopian Amsterdam

The Players of 2N

I shall now introduce the players of the many games partaken in Appartment 2N.

Salman - Die Hard Met Fan. Respectable by day, sleepy and hungry by night (often on Lou and Luchy's couch). Mr. Met without the giant baseball head. Blogsite Creator

Sameena - Queen of Chocolate, Lord of the Monkey. Good at making others forget a bad day at work

Ritesh - Former New Yorker. Presently exiled in Ohio for crimes against heterosexuality during his time in Chelsea

Shelly - Unfortunate companion of Ritesh. Unwittingly coaxed into marriage when Ritesh told her that he was pregnant. Presently seeking a friend, any friend, anything to get her out of Ritesh's lair

Luchy - Destroyer of cell phones. An avid journeywoman seeking the kind of trouble only Manhattan can offer. Proof that some Cubans can in fact run, jump and swim.

Lou - Master of the Lazy Boy. Lord of the Unconscious. Lou spends most of his life in REM sleep. He is skillful in the arts of firing up a BBQ and a hookah, drunken cleaning and rooting for the Jets. Believed to dream of Joe Willie Namath daily. J - E - T - S

Koster - Believed for many years to be a demon on Earth (as evidenced by his ability to evade death) Koster is now a respectable father. Proof that a child can tame even the wildest of beasts

Divya - The Mother. Creator of Kiran. Skilled in the arts of giving birth and making scrapbooks

Jesse - The Sherpa. The renaissance man of our group. Much like Macgyver, he can create or "grow" anything from anything else

Felicia - The Energy. Felicia can take the collective peace and lethargy of any situation and trasform it into a sudden desire to party. Much like Red Bull, but in Jewish girl form

Welcome to Lou and Luchy's Couch

Welcome all to the very first post on the very first blog dedicated to the musings from appartment 2N. It is a long time coming that the many brilliant ideas born in that most ignominious of headquarters go wireless. I hope you all find yourselves frequent contributors to this leap into the 21st century.

Now many of you may find it rather presumptuous that I have a created a blog with the name 'Lou and Luchy's Couch' as I am neither proprietor of the names nor the couch. To that I say, oh really? If not I, then who occupies that couch the most outside of its immediate owners (and Jesee and Felicia, and previously Koster and Diviya)?? And if that line of reasoning fails to convince you then let it suffice that I am the creator of this blog and can damn well call it whatever I want!

That brief rant aside, I must now bring to order the first issue in this inaugural post. There is a certain upcoming journey to be embarked upon by many of the key members of Lou and Luchy's Couch. This is a journey, much like that of Frodo of the Shire, filled with peril at every corner. The reward for a succesful completion of the journey: countless moments of bliss both in the form of brownie, and live sex show. It is this adventure, just weeks away, that prompts the birth of our blog.

So with that I welcome all of you to join this site and become frequent posters. I know it will be a success.

Merry Christmas Lou, Luchy and the Kosters!

Happy Hannukkah Jesse and Felicia!

Eid Mubarak Sameena!

And Happy Kwanzaa Ritesh and Shelly!

Go Mets!!